Everyone says it feels strange, and I get that. It does.
There’s a book in the world with my name on the cover. People have it in their hands. People are reading it. It’s no longer my sheltered baby that I lean over protectively, my arms circling it, shielding it. As it is in other people’s hands, it is no longer in mine.
So that’s weird.
But everyone said it would feel anticlimactic, in a way. All of this build-up, all of this work, all of this excitement. And then release day comes and goes, and you wake up the next morning, and it’s just… over.
But it’s been two weeks now since ATWSOS came out, and I’m still just soaking it in. There’s nothing anticlimactic here. Friends are still texting me angrily as they finish the book. Coworkers are still stopping me in the hall to talk about it. Reviews are still unfurling in the worlds of Goodreads and Amazon. I’m just… enjoying it. The fruits of my labor, so to speak. The culmination of a whole lotta work.
Yes, life is continuing on as it always has. It hasn’t changed monumentally just because I published a book. I’m going in to work every morning, I’m crunching numbers, I’m going home every day to walk my dogs and hang out with my nephews and sister and friends and read and watch tv and – here’s the big one – writing.
Maybe that’s why there’s nothing anticlimactic about this. It’s part of it, at least. I’m ankle-deep in my next project, and I. am. loving it. I’m so proud of ATWSOS, but I’m so hungry for more. To stretch myself farther, deeper, higher. I am so not content to sit back on this one book series and check off the life dream of “publish a book” and coast onward.
I’ve started scheduling out writing evenings again, as I did while I was writing ADWAD in February. I’ve rediscovered my absolute OBSESSION with word count. (I track it. I set goals for it. I hit CTRL + Shift + C in my Google Doc often enough that if any three keys on my keyboard were to give out before the others, it’d be those.) It feels like stretching after months of inactivity.
Well, relative inactivity. Writing a novel is a different kind of stretching than the short-form prose and poetry I still work on every day. And between you and me, I may be working on a little bit of a project in that realm alongside everything else.
BUT THAT’S TOP SECRET.
No, writing a novel is a different beast altogether. It makes my brain do different things than poetry. It makes my brain craft plot and dialogue and character arcs and worlds alongside just playing with words. I LOVE what it makes my brain do. I come out of writing sessions the best kind of mentally exhausted.
And anyway, where was I going with this? I was going somewhere with this.
To summarize, I’m still head over heels in love with the fact that ATWSOS is a book. There’s no letdown here.
And I’m still head over heels with writing books. Can’t stop, won’t stop, never gonna stop.
Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it’s the only way you can do anything really good.
– William Faulkner